The work and all that jam.

This should be called the WORKING GIRL's column. LOL!

So I'm blogging about my current work situation. I am the new Media Relations Officer, yo! Haha! My job description is to dispatch and monitor Press Releases of our clients. We do the 'charm' of Red Ribbon, Delifrance, Bistro Ravioli, Unilever, Shell Philippines- to name a few.

At first it was hard because I have to read different newspapers and magazines EVERYDAY to see if our press releases were already published! And I am glad to say that I am getting the hang of it. It's a nice experience because I am usually fascinated with reading through the internet and not the sheets, but now it's different because I do both! Haha!

Another fascinating thing I do here is the regular 'rubbing elbows' with different editors from different publications. Those who write for Lifestyle section, Entertainment, Business, and the like! It's like I do meet-ups and charm those big names we see on the paper everyday!

Well, some editors are busy so they just ask the guard to receive Press Releases for them. Some are extremely cheerful and warm when they know someone from a PR company visits them. We usually exchange smiles, comments, and simple kamustahan.

I admire their writing, especially those in the Lifestyle section. Their writing inspires me so much and knowing that I could visit them anytime gives me more confidence that someday, I could consult them when I write my own creative stuffs.

Having a work like this taught me how to be independent and ma-PR (malamang!). I am usually the reserved type of person and I don't talk that much unless we're in the I-know-you-and-you-know-me stage. It also taught me how to arrange my thoughts whenever I talk on the phone and interact with people in the business. It made me smile 90% more and talk endlessly about random stuffs!

Enjoying the work and having a good salary is a good equation. Of course, I cannot wait for the 15's and 30's of every month! having your own hard-earned money gives you the joy of being independent and responsible child of your beloved parents. NAAAX! hahaha!

Till here,
Jonah.

The times that tried our souls.

Did you ever have that movie that made you sit still? Well, I just did.

"When the action is over and we look back, we understand both more and less. The times that tried our souls." -Evelyn

These lines definitely got me the act to write my thoughts down. I never thought I would be moved this much.

It was one of the boring nights at home. And just because I am a movie freak, I saw this beautiful movie made by Michael Bay. The only war picture I loved (and adored) was HURT LOCKER by Kathryn Bigelow.. not until today. I have discovered one of the Hollywood's treasures and that is PEARL HARBOR (2001).

I know I'm a little late to see this movie but it really was one of the most amazing movies I have ever seen! I learned so much about it and I believe I was moved and I was inspired.

I learned so much about America's history and how December 7 of 1941 brought the Great America to tears, defeat and the need to surge forward to seek Victory. America's history is rich with valor and enthusiasm. I should not be surprised because for all we know, IT IS THE LAND OF THE FREE, THE HOME OF THE BRAVE.

In this movie, I have learned so much about brotherhood and valor. The two courageous young (and extremely charming) pilots had sacrifice so much of their lives to their beloved country and countrymen. Just like any other person, Rafe and Danny went through all the hardships an Army Air Corps' pilots would have but their bond went beyond the oath... they treated each other like brothers- from the beginning up to the end.

Another thing that's amazing in this movie is that it was able to incorporate romance into action and suspense. I have seen lots of TV series and movies that could mix them all up- Dear John, Prison Break.. to mention a few. But this movie has given me a different perspective, a different twist to experience. Who would ever wonder that two different men who treated each other like brothers could love the same girl? At the same time and the same place..

RAFE and EV.

Their love was extraordinary. Rafe found love in the middle of the hospital filled with aspiring heroes-to-be. It started out with a simple conversation and they both fell for each other. Ev is a very charming nurse (Kate Beckinsale literally has the looks!) and Rafe is a hot pilot (Ben Affleck's eyes could say much!).. together, they are like winners to genetic lottery or in other words, CHEMISTRY (hahaha!). But who would ever thought that Rafe would be one of those missing men in the middle of the battle and Ev was left alone, crying her heart out? See, that's what I am talking about. This movie has lots of surprises!

and that's where the story about DANNY and EV started...

Danny is the bestfriend of Rafe and it pained him also to know that he lost his bestfriend in the battle. Danny saved Ev's drowning and breaking heart. He made him believe that just because someone dear to her passed away, her heart should not be filled with sadness because good things shall come her way. And it did.. they both fell in love during the process of letting go with the past. It was cloud nine for them not until Rafe, still alive, showed up.

Rafe and Danny's friendship was put to test. If I were to be asked, this part of the movie was unexpected. I did not see it coming, not even a bit. And so, it made me love the plot even more!

I would love to share few lines I remember from the movie.

If I had one more night to live... I'd wanna spend it with you.- Evelyn

Having the thought of living your life all over again- from the beginning up to the end- with the same person? At some point, I did. It was when I fell in love and literally did not think of anyone else but him. I could not even imagine myself having a relationship with someone else.. even to the hottest crush I have on the list! I guess it is because you are satisfied and happy with that person that nothing else and no one else can compare with.

Ma'am, please, don't take my wings.-Rafe

It sounds unusual but these lines moved my heart. It was when Rafe was having that slim chance of being a pilot in the Army. When he uttered those words, it brought me to realization that WE SHOULDN'T LET SOMEONE, OR SOMETHING TAKE AWAY OUR ASPIRATIONS. We should not give up, nor give in. If he wanted to do more than the flying, then Rafe must have his 'wings' and I'm glad Ev did not take it away from him.

...all I ever wanted was for us to have a home and grow old together, but life never asked me what I wanted.-Evelyn

This is all true. When life gives you lemon, you're supposed to make a lemonade right? But what if you DEMAND tequila and salt instead? Life is unexpected and life can get freaky sometimes. All we gotta do is hold on and learn each step we go through.

Now I'm going to give Danny my whole heart... but I don't think I'll ever look at another sunset without thinking of you... I'll love you my whole life.-Evelyn

This line brought me to tears actually. I do not know why. I haven't experienced it but I saw the sincerity and the hurt between them. It was true love for them but because of some inevitable circumstances, they had to give up their faith that one day they will be reunited and fall in love again. It hurts so much for Rafe because the thought of Evelyn waiting for her kept him alive in the battle and it brought him home but it was too late for the both of them. Evelyn had let go of the past and believed that Rafe is dead and so she had to move on. If only time stood still and Rafe did not go to Britain... if only.

And so, to end this writing, I have to impart to you some words to ponder on...

When the action is over and we look back, we understand both more and less.

Contemplations.

I write when I'm happy, I write when I'm sad. But today, I'm writing for a new reason: REALIZATIONS.

It is true that when you're quiet, you come into a haven of different realizations. Some are evil, some are good.. or sometimes, some are dirty. Hahaha! (I know you guys get a good laugh on this one!) But after those realizations and contemplations, you somehow get lost or get in the right track. Well, today, I am lucky because through 'these' relaizations, I was moved to be a better person.

Number 1, opportunities come and go but what counts the most is that you grab it when you want it (and it's for the common good) or let it pass you by if you're not really into it. Two simple things to do. ACCEPT and REJECT. No complexities.

Number 2, your partner cannot be with you all the time and you have to accept the things that he can do without you. You were born on different time, different places, different days...It wouldn't hurt that much if you do things differently. What's important is that you grow together and you, two, do not grow apart.

Number 3, learn not to sweat the small stuff. Small stuffs have the tendencies to grow big, if and only if you will let them. When it did not hurt your feelings, let it go.

Number 4, if you hate a person, never let him/her get into your system. The more you hate him/her, the more you make him/her powerful. So if your hatred hits 101%, let it go. Be kind to animals, remember? LOL!

Number 5, prayers are powerful. I learned today, from a random status in Facebook, that when praying, we must not beg.. we must BELIEVE. And that alone will make our prayer powerful.

And last but not the least, my passion is on fire. I believe that MAKING MOVIES do have a calling. If people do believe in your capability and creativity, it convinces you (so much) to push through with the project. I have realized that making my very own movie is a blessing. SOON. :)

So there.

I BELIEVE that my name will soon appear on the big silverscreen while you guys are eating popcorn of taking a sip of your favorite drink. Who knows, with 3D glasses too?

Always a believer,

JONAH :)

I love you.

There are things that can be changed if only we will bother to ask.

Today is the 883rd day of one of the most-valued relationships I have. It never stopped, and I hope it would never end. We must all believe in second chances. If we sucked at the first try then, we must not lose hope to try again. If and only if you know that it's all you've ever wanted..

We did some things for the sake of finding ourselves. You chose to love yourself more, to explore things you wanted to try, make friends with time.. Never ever regret it because you did yourself a huge favor.. and that is to change.

I am happy right now because I know I made the right decision. This is all I have ever wanted. I held on to it for so long. Just like a kite, flying wild in the vastness of sky.. He pulled it and now it has found its way back. I will hold it again, and together, just you and me.. we'll make it fly.. higher than before.

I am lost for words, but I love you.. each and every day.

One More Chance does happen, if only we try. :)

When was the last time you did something for the first time?

I spent the day writing a screenplay for Cinemalaya next year *crosses fingers*. I have done several screenplays before but this one is different. It’s about LOVE. It’s funny though because I just came from a heartbreak. So saan ko kukunin ang pagka-mushy ko sa mga bagay-bagay? Need I explain? Hahaha!

Nakakaloka ang mga pangyayari kung PAG-IBIG lang ang pag-uusapan ha.

Examples:

• my friend who just got her heart broken for the last three months is getting back with his boyfriend, (oo na, Applet, ikaw na masaya! haha!) SILA NA ANG GETTING BACK TOGETHER.
• and another friend who has been ‘vacant’ for a year has finally grabbed her new love life. SIYA NA ANG MAY BAGONG BOYFRIEND
• Another friend, who has been in a terrible heartbreaking situation are trying to mend the broken gap between her and her ex-boyfriend. SILA NA ANG “LET’S FIX THINGS AND GET BACK TOGETHER… SOON”
• A friend of mine is head-over-heels with her friend and they are kind of dating now. SILA NA ANG MAGIGING MAGBOYPREN-GERLPREN.

So I was like, WAIT LANG HA! BAKIT LAHAT GANYAN? Hahaha! When I finally joined the “broken hearted club”, everybody started dating and getting a relationship. DAYUUUM! And my friend said, “Dude, I waited for this… for 2 long years, remember?” It was like, “In your face, Jonah! In yer face!!!” Hahaha and I was like, LMAO! Hahahaha!

It’s so nice to see people in-love… or just smiling because they think they are. And in finding love, or the so-called “LET’S-TEST-YOUR-PATIENCE” stage, everybody could just write on a piece of paper: YOU + ME= shit, bagay na bagay! TAYO NA LANG! Hahahaha!

Well, the truth is, finding love ain’t easy. I remember a quote sent by my friend that says: “I WANT TO LOVE A GUY WHOSE HEART HAS BEEN BROKEN SO HE KNOWS HOW IT FEELS AND WON’T BREAK MINE.”

Truuuuue enough! Let us never close our hearts and minds to finding new love.

So going back to the screenplay I am writing…

It brings me to good old days where I was leaping with joy. I wonder though. When was the last time I got kilig just because I am in-love or maybe got a random note from my better half…The answer is: well, quite a long time now. (insert straight-faced smiley here haha!)

(Ok guys, if you are reading this, getting small notes or short letters indicating your love for us is way sweeter than giving us bouquet of roses or gallons of chocolates. The letters, we could keep forever.)

Pero aminin natin, when we are in our cloud nine state, lahat ng mangyari sa atin, significant. Like kunwari,

• number ng anniversary niyo nasa isang malaking sticker, mapapa-“AWW” na kayo sa isa’t-isa..
• O mas gawin nating simple.. kapag kumain kayo sa fast food chain, Mcdo, KFC, Jollibee, etc. Pag yung anniversary date niyo yung binigay na number ng waiter or kahera, sobrang matutuwa kayo.. minsan pa nga pipiktyuran niyo! AMINAN NAAA! Hahaha!
• O tapos kapag 12:01 na sa cellphone niyo paunahan pa kayo mag-greet ng “Happy Monthsary!” Pahabaan pa nga minsan, puro ILABYU, ILABYU! Hahaha!
• tapos kapag nakikinig kayo sa radyo/mp3/iPod, biglang pinatugtog yung ‘theme song’ niyo, lalakasan niyo! Ano, tama ba? Hahaha!

Ganon talaga kapag in-love eh, walang pinipiling lugar at panahon. Kahit numero lang yan, sobrang importante sa inyo. Oh well, enjoy and savor the moment while it lasts. (SARCASTIC? hahaha)

Yung sa sinusulat kong stroya, nakakakilig. Yun pa lang nagpapakilig sa akin ngayon. (Tsaka pala si Jake Cuenca at Xian Lim) Which is nakakatawa dahil, hello, storya lang yun! Pero kahit papano pwede na. Tsaka nakaka-inspire din. You can find love in different places, different situations. Like Ashton Kutcher in A LOT LIKE LOVE movie. Imagine, he was just wiping his dirty polo when a girl came knocking. Sa eroplano yun! Nakakatuwa lang coz people find it in strange places.

I won’t put myself into someone who’s in-love shoes, because, I shall admit, I already forgot the feeling.. Yung feeling na “Shit, in love ako, I know!” Siguro in time, when I get the feeling ulit, it would be a whole-new experience. Getting a new relationship? Definitely not. Hindi pa muna, MALINAW YUNG MUNA HA, ako bibitaw hangga’t mayroon pa akong nararamdaman. Let love die a natural death, ika nga nila. There is nothing cute with baggage while entering a new relationship. So hinay-hinay lang. Antayin mo yung panahon na kapag nakita mo siya wala ka na nararamdaman at maiisip mo na isa nalang siyang ordinaryong tao.

• Yung hindi ka na apektado kung may makita kang picture na may kasama siyang iba,
• o kaya hindi mo na inaalala kung kamusta na siya, kung ok ba siya, kung nasaan siya..
• Sige, gawin nating mas simple. It is when you forget the urge to text/call him… to ask if things are okay.
• Tipong hindi mo na rin inaantay na mag-appear sa inbox mo yung pangalan niya.

Kapag wala ka nang pakialam sa mga bagay na yon, PWEDE KA NA PUMASOK SA BAGONG RELASYON.

Well as for my friends who are giving LOVE A SECOND CHANCE and another kick-ass celebration, I am happy for all of you. I know the pain you have been through and all the hopeless romantic nights you surpassed. LOVE IS SWEETER THE SECOND TIME AROUND so give it your best shot!

For my friends who are not yet in-love, okay lang yan. Take care of your heart, love will find you. And when it does, give in.

For my friends who are curing their broken hearts, let it rest for a moment, it will learn to love again.

For my friends who think they are in-love, be careful. Your heart is fragile. Let it not reach the ground, let somebody catch it. Hindi pwede yung “I WANT YOUR LOVE, I DON’T JUST WANNA BE FRIENDS”. Dapat sure ball, ok?

For my friends who are reading this, hello, alam kong sasabihin niyong andami ko na namang alam! Hahaha sorry, feel ko lang mag-blog. Ganon talaga kapag Bum.

“In my own opinion, the best thing you could do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty.. what have you.. the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass and that’s the kind of person worth sticking with.”- Mac MacGuff, Juno.

Words can hurt but so does SILENCE.

I am writing this because I keep questioning myself when should we hold on and when should we let go?

It's a hard question to answer but since I am bothered, I might as well share it with all of you who might be reading this 'bothering' blog entry.

HOLDING ON.

You hold on because you are happy, you are satisfied, you feel safe, you are loved. Bakit pwede rin naman mag hold on kung naniniwala ka na may pag-asa pa diba? Kahit alam mong you guys are not really in a relationship.. okay, let me be specific, yung tipong hindi na kayo pero alam mong meron pa, kung kakayanin lang. In that case you're not happy, malamang kasi you'll spend time wondering WHAT IFs and in the process, you will feel lonely.Sa kaso din na ito, you are not satisfied. Malamang kasi you don't get to see him that often, unlike before. Here, you do not feel safe also definitely because anytime he might hurt your feelings. Last but not the least, you won't feel loved. Ikaw lang ang todo bigay, pero siya, steady lang... pwedeng papansinin ka, pwede ring snob lang. WORDS CAN HURT BUT SO DOES SILENCE. Ang hirap diba? So when do you hold on? When should you?

LET GO.

You let go probably because you're unhappy, you're hurting, you're unloved, you're not satisfied.. or worse, you have found someone new.. someone new who could make you HAPPIER, who would hurt you LESS, who would LOVE YOU MORE and turn that SATISFACTORY LEVEL to EXCELLENT LEVEL. Ganon ba? So what will happen to the relationship you were into? What will happen to you? What will happen to your partner?

They say the hardest part of letting go is not because you want to, but because you have to. But lately I have realized, parehas lang mahirap at masakit eh. Parehas kayong takot tanggapin ANG MGA PWEDE PANG MANGYARI. And you have to let go kasi... bakit nga ba? Kasi ayaw mo na? Ayaw mo nang umasa at masaktan? Let go ka na kasi alam mong masaya na siya.. sa iba? Let go ka na kasi wala nang magagawa yung pag-aantay mo? Kailan nga ba nagiging madali ang letting go? Pag nakahanap ka na ng bago? Wala naman kasi akong nakitang quote na GIVE ME REASONS TO LET GO diba? Mayron yung GIVE ME REASONS TO HOLD ON, or to LOVE YOU MORE.. Ang hirap naman sagutin nito.

mapunta naman tayo sa MOVING ON.

Ito siguro yung pinaka-masayang stage. Yung tipong masaya ka na at tanggap mo na ang mga nangyari. Wala ka nang bitterness at wishful thinking. Masaya at magaan na ang pakiramdam mo. Wala nang alinlangan kung the next day ba eh babalik siya o kakausapin ka. "THE HELL I CARE basta masaya na ako" ang drama dito. Pero... kailan nga ba dapat mag move on? Kapag nakapag let go ka na? O makakapag move on ka lang kung may MAKIKITA KA NANG BAGO?

Ang hirap sagutin ng blog na toh, at alam kong medyo hindi maayos ang construction ng ideas hahaha! Magulo rin kasi ang utak ko ngayon. Hindi ko ma-distinguish kung saan sa tatlong yan nabibilang ang sitwasyon ko but nonetheless, kaya ko pa naman.. keribels pa. Dito papasok yung sinasabi nilang EVERYTHING HAS ITS OWN TIME, pero you have to make TIME the RIGHT TIME. Let everything surprise you. Make friends with TIME.

Huwag nating pilitin. Let me endure and enjoy the beauty of pain. It only means nagmamahal/nagmahal ako ng totoo... kasi masakit. Let me expose myself to pain, pero syempre not too much haha! Sabi nga nila diba, ang taong mabagal mag move on, mas mabilis naghheal.. dahil step-by-step ang pagtanggap niya sa mga pangyayari.. so hayaan niyo munang maging PAGONG ako sa sitwasyon na ito.. di natin alam ang pwede mangyari..

Last but not the least, kapag malungkot kayo sa gabi, tipong nag-iisa lang kayo at namimiss niyo yung 'taong yun', magdasal lang kayo.. Sabihin niyo "Lord, patulugin niyo na po ako para makalimutan ko na yung nararamdaman ko." Tapos, bilang ka ng 1 to 1000, kung di parin epektib, bilang ka from 1000 to 1. Ewan ko lang kung hindi kayo makatulog! Haha! Tapos kung pag gising niyo naman, tapos naalala niyo yung 'taong yun'.. sabihin mo sa sarili mo, "Miss ko nga siya, ako ba miss niya?" O para masampal ka ng katotohanan. Haha!

Hindi madali ang mag move on, lalo na kung ang dami niyong pinagsamahan at kung bawat lingon mo sa bahay niyo, sa kalsada, sa mall, eh siya naaalala mo. YOU REALLY HAVE TO HELP YOURSELF. Ikaw lang ang makakapag-padali ng lahat.

Tsaka, sa mga katulad kong naniniwala at idol si Popoy at Basha ng ONE MORE CHANCE movie, medyo tamaan kayo. Totoo ang three-month rule. JOKE! Hahaha! Ibig kong sabihin, nangyayari talaga sa tunay na buhay yung istorya nila. Yung SANA AKO NALANG, AKO NALANG ULIT! hahaha epal ni Basha! Taray ni Popoy, trapped between two lovers! Pero diba nga, kahit ano pa pinagdaanan nila, naging sila parin. Kahit napunta na ng Qatar si Popoy at madami nang naitayong building si Basha, sila pa rin nagkatuluyan.

Ipagpaubaya na natin ang LOVE STORY natin sa itaas, siya ang nagsulat non, tayo lang ang magpapaganda.

-JONAH

The big turning point.

This would be perhaps the saddest blog I’ll ever make.

I never knew heartache until today. Maybe because I have been so happy for the past two long years of my life. I have never cried much, never missed someone this much, never thought of someone this much.. never.. not until today.

It has been a nice round for two hearts who really love each other until the end. They have never been broken nor taken for granted, they just have to part so each other could contemplate… could grow. Trees are planted far from each other so they could grow. At least, that’s what I have to think for the moment.

Before this thing happened, I did pray to God to give me guidance, to enlighten ‘us’, to encourage ‘us’.. “LET GO and LET GOD.” That was my perspective because I was trying to hold on but it pains me so much.. so much that I had to spend long hours of contemplating. And now, that my prayer has been answered, I am more than grateful to say that my faith in Him grew stronger. Maybe this is not yet our time, but I believe this is not yet the end.

What we see in the movies, really happen in real life. Well, most of them, I could say. As for dramatic scenes where two lovers have to part and say their sweetest and hardest goodbye, the rain will start to pour down or the sky will look dull. It did happen. I always thought that rainy days make me happy but in the past few days, it made my days and nights gloomy. Everything reminds me of him. It felt like the sky cries with me too.

When I browsed my hard disk and saw pictures of us together, all smiling for the camera or just stolen shots our friends took, it made me miss you more. The times.. all the crazy things that transpired on those days. It’s rewarding to see that in all the albums I have in here, I WAS WITH YOU. Happy and lovely. I do not have plans of deleting them or putting it somewhere that I could not see because truth be told, I LOVE LOOKING AT THEM.. even though it hurts me a little. The biggest files, biggest folders, will always include OUR PICTURES. ALWAYS.

Our story, the one we made right after our good friend introduced us to each other, will always be a happy memory to me. All the surprises from the dinner cruise, monthsaries, birthdays, valentines day, anniversaries down to the graduation gift you gave me. I will keep them, I should.

I do not know how to put an end to this because honestly it pains me still but I have to think of happy thoughts.. happy days.. for now. Because sometimes love means letting go when you want to hold on tighter.