The big turning point.

This would be perhaps the saddest blog I’ll ever make.

I never knew heartache until today. Maybe because I have been so happy for the past two long years of my life. I have never cried much, never missed someone this much, never thought of someone this much.. never.. not until today.

It has been a nice round for two hearts who really love each other until the end. They have never been broken nor taken for granted, they just have to part so each other could contemplate… could grow. Trees are planted far from each other so they could grow. At least, that’s what I have to think for the moment.

Before this thing happened, I did pray to God to give me guidance, to enlighten ‘us’, to encourage ‘us’.. “LET GO and LET GOD.” That was my perspective because I was trying to hold on but it pains me so much.. so much that I had to spend long hours of contemplating. And now, that my prayer has been answered, I am more than grateful to say that my faith in Him grew stronger. Maybe this is not yet our time, but I believe this is not yet the end.

What we see in the movies, really happen in real life. Well, most of them, I could say. As for dramatic scenes where two lovers have to part and say their sweetest and hardest goodbye, the rain will start to pour down or the sky will look dull. It did happen. I always thought that rainy days make me happy but in the past few days, it made my days and nights gloomy. Everything reminds me of him. It felt like the sky cries with me too.

When I browsed my hard disk and saw pictures of us together, all smiling for the camera or just stolen shots our friends took, it made me miss you more. The times.. all the crazy things that transpired on those days. It’s rewarding to see that in all the albums I have in here, I WAS WITH YOU. Happy and lovely. I do not have plans of deleting them or putting it somewhere that I could not see because truth be told, I LOVE LOOKING AT THEM.. even though it hurts me a little. The biggest files, biggest folders, will always include OUR PICTURES. ALWAYS.

Our story, the one we made right after our good friend introduced us to each other, will always be a happy memory to me. All the surprises from the dinner cruise, monthsaries, birthdays, valentines day, anniversaries down to the graduation gift you gave me. I will keep them, I should.

I do not know how to put an end to this because honestly it pains me still but I have to think of happy thoughts.. happy days.. for now. Because sometimes love means letting go when you want to hold on tighter.