The big turning point.

This would be perhaps the saddest blog I’ll ever make.

I never knew heartache until today. Maybe because I have been so happy for the past two long years of my life. I have never cried much, never missed someone this much, never thought of someone this much.. never.. not until today.

It has been a nice round for two hearts who really love each other until the end. They have never been broken nor taken for granted, they just have to part so each other could contemplate… could grow. Trees are planted far from each other so they could grow. At least, that’s what I have to think for the moment.

Before this thing happened, I did pray to God to give me guidance, to enlighten ‘us’, to encourage ‘us’.. “LET GO and LET GOD.” That was my perspective because I was trying to hold on but it pains me so much.. so much that I had to spend long hours of contemplating. And now, that my prayer has been answered, I am more than grateful to say that my faith in Him grew stronger. Maybe this is not yet our time, but I believe this is not yet the end.

What we see in the movies, really happen in real life. Well, most of them, I could say. As for dramatic scenes where two lovers have to part and say their sweetest and hardest goodbye, the rain will start to pour down or the sky will look dull. It did happen. I always thought that rainy days make me happy but in the past few days, it made my days and nights gloomy. Everything reminds me of him. It felt like the sky cries with me too.

When I browsed my hard disk and saw pictures of us together, all smiling for the camera or just stolen shots our friends took, it made me miss you more. The times.. all the crazy things that transpired on those days. It’s rewarding to see that in all the albums I have in here, I WAS WITH YOU. Happy and lovely. I do not have plans of deleting them or putting it somewhere that I could not see because truth be told, I LOVE LOOKING AT THEM.. even though it hurts me a little. The biggest files, biggest folders, will always include OUR PICTURES. ALWAYS.

Our story, the one we made right after our good friend introduced us to each other, will always be a happy memory to me. All the surprises from the dinner cruise, monthsaries, birthdays, valentines day, anniversaries down to the graduation gift you gave me. I will keep them, I should.

I do not know how to put an end to this because honestly it pains me still but I have to think of happy thoughts.. happy days.. for now. Because sometimes love means letting go when you want to hold on tighter.

Telling the truth sometimes hurt but what more does a lie do?

I don't like the idea of posting some personal matters online but it's nice to hear people's reactions about it. Basically, it's also a way of updating the people close to your heart but far in distance. If you can't tell it straight, you post something relevant to it like a post about something sad, something painful, and the like. So for you, who changed your profile picture, hello. :)

You, making our picture as your profile picture, is a nice gesture. Our picture edited from how it was before. From colorful-now to black and white... from vivid to blurred.. from what was before to what is now. It pains me, it makes me sad..

Photography people say Black and White photos suggest the viewer to look deeper into the photo to look for the meaning.. what's in the surface without the color. Ika nga nila, "MAS MALALIM". In relation to us, I guess, we are now in the stage of looking deeper into ourselves, asking if this is what we really want and if this is what is bound to happen. We are black and white. Relevant to each other and resembles a different meaning when put together.

In Film, blurred objects suggest meanings. The blurred objects aren't that important to the frame. Objects are blurred to emphasize on the real subject of the frame. As for us, we are blurry. Literally in that sense. We do not know where our relationship is taking us. We let go of our identities and let the most important subject, our heart, work for us in the frame. Do we still love each other? It pains to think about this right now.

What happened really taught me a good lesson. Telling the truth sometimes hurt but what more does a lie do?

When you're sleeping with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part.

When you're sleeping with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part.

Tonight, I’ll cry myself to sleep.

I never thought that it would be this hard to conquer all the things that have been putting me down lately. All the worries, the sadness, and the like. I always used to have a back-up plan for everything but unfortunately, this time, I don’t.

I’m pretty sure of what I want to happen: end this, save myself from being lied on again. What scares, or what worries me are the things that would happen if we are not ‘together’ anymore. Yes, it’s scary. I used to be with him for like what.. 2 years and 3 months now. That’s a big risk, but I have to take this step to save myself from all the hurt he’s been putting me through. :( I now have to face a new day, waking up without his messages flashed on my phone.. waking up not expecting anything from him.. anymore. :( I guess the lyrics “When you’re sleeping with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part.” I should, I shall surpass these.

It hurts to be cheated on. It hurts to know the truth. It hurts to trust the person you love when in the end you’ll know, in one way or another, they have broken it. It hurts to feel like you’re the last person to know the truth. It hurts. It really hurts.

I have to save my better self for the one who is worthy of my trust. I have to stand-up for myself. I have to.

The trigger of the story: My film class

“Writing is personal, it has to be.” Those words came from my notable lecturer Clodualdo Del Mundo, a scriptwriter.

I always have been a fan of the movies and being in his class exposed me more to beautiful movies here in the Philippines and abroad. I was inspired even more to write stories and become more detailed in explaining the scenes I have in mind.

Trigger. You must have a trigger to write a good story. What story do you want to tell? From there, you’ll know where you could get your stories. The trigger starts it all.

Did you know the 6-word story made by Ernest Hemmingway? Yes, it took him only six words to tell a story. He said, ” FOR SALE: BABY’S SHOES. NEVER WORN.” Filling the gaps, you could tell that there has been an anticipation for a baby but perhaps due to some unfortunate events, the baby did not make it out... alive.

I am very much excited with all the stuffs I am going to learn from my classes in the coming days.

Tonight, he gave us an assignment. We must write ideas for our Short Film and Full-Length Film. This is a productive day, I could say!

We watched 9 Films today and did two screenplays in 50 words!

1. Blue Angel

2. Baraka

3. The Bicycle Thief

4. Biyaheng Edsa

5. Ten Minutes Older

6. Story of the Water

7, The Color of Paradise

8. Touch of Evil

9. The Virgin Spring

If you would like to know the stories, search it on the net. Haha!

Had fuuuuun today!

Inglorious Basterds

Written and Directed by the legend himself, Quentin Tarantino.
The man responsible for Pulp Fiction as well.

I thought this movie features a comic flow of events. Like, I know the spelling of Bastards, if Quentin meant that, so I wondered why the A was replaced by an E. Haha! So I guess that has nothing to do with the movie. LOL!

Five chapters rolled in one to tell a story of Jewish vengeance. This was all fictional but nonetheless told a story that revealed how cruel fighting and killing people were before. I admire how Quentin put together all the stories. He touched a very sensitive subject in world’s history, particularly that of Jews’ and Germans’. The first chapter was really significant and I thought the story in chapter one wasn’t that relevant not until Emmanuel showed up in a cinema house in Paris. The second chapter, an introduction of the Inglorious Basterds, is where the handsome hot Brad Pitt appeared. He is still sexy even in military uniform but I was bothered by the way he spoke in the movie. He sounded like a cowboy-turned-into-a-Nazi-hater. Seriously! Can somebody comment about this? Lol! Here, the plot was somehow tragic because the soldiers tend to ‘unscalp’ the Nazis they were able to kill in an encounter. Unhumane. The third chapter, The German Night in Paris, where the only survivor in the Jewish family that was murdered in chapter one appeared. Soshana Dreyfus, appeared German-like woman. She now owns a cinema where lots of German movies were shown and she is hiding her true Jewish identity. Her fancy meeting with a soldier led to her biggest plot of revenge to all the Nazis. In chapter four, the Operation Kino was proposed and everything led to a bloody encounter of fake Nazis and the original ones. In this chapter I could say, I was totally stunned by the actress’ beauty and was totally confused by all the accents. Last but not the least, Chapter five, The Revenge of the Big Face, was the best part! It showed the vengeance plot Soshana and her partner Marcel have been planning. Imagine a big revenge being shown in a big screen where people from different parts of the world watch. Must be outstanding! LOL! It was successful and Aldo’s masterpiece on The Jew Hunter was really rewarding!

Quentin already amazed me with Pulp Fiction but this movie… this movie… amazed me more! I wonder where he gets all the amazing plots. I have watched Valkyrie, another movie with Hitler in it, but this one is different especially how the chain of events led the people involved from chapter one get a very significant and outstanding evening. I love how Emmanuel said her part… “I have a message for Germany… that you are all going to die. And I want you to look deep into the face of the Jew who’s going to do it! Marcel, burn it down. My name is Soshana Dreyfus, and this is the face of Jewish vengeance!” Nice, nice, nice!

The setting, the plot, the shots, the characters… everything! Superb!

A Perfect Getaway

Strangers. Killers. Paradise Island.
Plus Milla Jovovich.

I remember the same sexy woman who starred in the .45 movie. Bad, rebellious and hot. I thought this movie was different but it all came down to my senses that Milla is a very flexible actress.

This movie went beyond my expectations! I do not normally read the summary on the back cover or on the internet because every movie is a story to anticipate. For me the title and the poster says a part of the story already and upon seeing the cover photo and the title of this movie, I already thought of struggles, fighting, lots of killing and chasing. I have watched the movie Touristas and I expected this movie to be something like that but as the movie goes, I saw different.

The story told the lives of different couples who go trekking and wandering on their honeymoon days. Set in a very nice part of Hawaii: trails, rain, rainbows, hunting, waterfalls, mountains… all the beautiful natural resources that a perfect paradise island could have. The couples were enjoying the time of their lives without any hint of worries and just like any other couples who were in their honeymoon, I expected Milla and her partner in this movie to be lovey-dovey in the plot. They never failed me with their actions and words not until the last 30 minutes or so of the movie. The transition and the twist of the movie really left me aghast. Outstanding! Plus, the sweet proposal that came after was really sweet.

As for the shots, all that panning really told a part of the story: Chasing. Lots of chasing! I wonder how they do all the running in the forest. Must be tiring… but it’s all worth it! The chasing and all the struggles the couple faced in the movie really contributed to the beautiful ending.

I find trekking very exciting but upon seeing this movie, I’ll probably won’t go trekking on my honeymoon! Hahaha! However, having a sweet proposal on a sunset, by the aerial view of the beach during a trekking would be very sweet. Awww…

Speak now or forever hold your piece.

Shutter Island

Perhaps the most mind-boggling movie I have ever watched!

The film was based on the novel “Shutter Island” by Dennis Lebane. I haven’t read the novel yet but I can say that Dennis must have had lost of imagination and connecting plots in mind when he made the story. Outsanding! This psychological thriller really made my day.

Set in Ashcliffe, an asylum for delusional criminals, this movie boasts a 1950’s setting. The cars, the clothes, manner of speaking, decorations, interiors, etc. I wonder where they got all the water to make an artificial rain, or should I ask, was it real? Also, the huge waves that crush against the shore, all those rocks and tall trees… for real, existed?

Leonardo DiCarpio portrayed a role of a delusional mad man who was in denial that he had indeed killed his wife in 1952. I could say that the plot was made not to confuse but rather make the viewers think of the possible ways the story can progress. I salute the people responsible for the screenplay! This movie was really a heart-pounding and mind-boggling suspense thriller!

I am a fan of suspense and mind-boggling movies or television series just like Prison Break and this movie reminded me also of the codes and similarities of events shown in Prison Break. The linkages and flow of events really affected everyone in the movie and it was really evident that all the hard work put into it really paid off. The scenes, the thrills, the portrayal, the story, and all the effects were really made to create a connection between the story and the viewer.

However, the effects used in the movie also reminded me of the movie The Lovely Bones. The apparition of Teddy’s wife and children, all the symbolic figures they used in the scenes, really added up some shiver along the movie. Nice job, directors!

I have to rerun the movie with a friend, I guess, to fully criticize some linkages and stories injected in the story because I was expecting someone, not Leonardo, to be the culprit. I already had that mindset not until the twist happened that somehow contributed to the dramatic and symbolic ending.

It is really a nice movie, go and get a copy.